Terrorist thoughts

The constant flow of time has no newsworthy value. Broken by intermittent noises of planes passing by or other war-related sonorities, time transcends silence and becomes a continuous event, every second becomes a spectacle.

Is it the end of this piece of land called Lebanon? 16 years since the civil war ended and so many debts spent on the reconstruction. In 10 days everything was gone, everything. Since the last large scale Israeli season of destruction in 1996 that left the country without electricity and with so many deaths and homelessness, another wave of reconstruction was attempted. This time the Israeli rain of violence comes with the biggest destruction ever, bigger than the 4 months invasion in 1982.

When walking in Beirut, or even while driving through, one cannot but notice so many ironic scenes: Banners and slogans from the leftovers of that long forgotten ‘Cedar Revolution’ which got the Syrians out of the country and was praised by all these countries that are now in silence: advertisements praising the country’s imminent rebirth; or better yet the advertisements for tourism in the new beautiful Lebanon. This year was a record year in the number of incoming tourists; ironically it was also in the number of outgoing ones.

I never felt so disoriented in my life. Perhaps now I understand what Iraqi people felt when democracy invaded their country, or what Palestinians have been feeling since justice befell them. This will never end. If I survive this war, it would not be the images of dead children or blackened bodies and pieces of human flesh spread on the fertile soil of my land that would torment my dreams. It would be the memory of extreme power being exercised on you without the ability to even call yourself a victim.

I never believed in human rights, nor did I ever believe in the United Nations. In fact I always thought that these two institutions were the worse productions of human history. Inflicted power becomes hypocrisy, and justice is reduced to rhetoric, this is the post WWII morality.

For someone who has been brought up in a secular leftist environment, where ideals have a relatively realistic importance in one’s life, I find trouble imagining what Lebanon is or what it can possibly be.

Was it always so easy to distort history? Was it always so easy to change facts?

Every historical proof, every empirical study shows that Israel is a criminal state, perhaps the state with the biggest record of war crimes (there is however a strong competition with the US). Nonetheless a sadistic guilt complex gives it the right to kill without having any guilt. I do not deny the Holocaust; I do not even need to. But how is it that this crime has no equal in the history of man? How is it that this crime similar to so many others in history has made it right for the victim to repeat the crime? Why don’t the Incas have the right to a state of their own when millions of them were slaughtered? Why don’t the Armenians have the right to declare a state of their own in France or in England and evict its inhabitants because they chose to and because they were victims of genocide? Why don’t the original tribes of north America have the right to have a state of their own in their own land, but instead are secluded in zoo-like reserves where one can gaze at history with no feeling of guilt? Why is Ahmadinajad called a new Hitler when he asks why the Palestinians should bear the guilt of Europe, and why Israel should be inflicted on those who never participated in the Genocide?

Yes I do not believe that Israel has the right to exist, at least not in Palestine, and yes I wish it never did. If it should exist it should be in Germany, on this point I agree with Ahmadinajad even though I disagree with most of his statements. Nonetheless I also believe in power and reality. Israel is a fact and we have to live with it, but that doesn’t mean it has the right to be unchallenged or the right to kill with no remorse.

I always wondered how justice can be an absolute power when it is a relative judgment. When I was younger and watching westerns starring John Wayne or others I kept wondering why the hero was always the one killing the Indians – even though they were the ones simply defending their homes and land. When I grew up I understood that the hero is always the one who wins regardless of the moral aspect of his struggle.

Is it enough to be ready to die for a certain cause, have a beard and believe in a different religion to be called a terrorist? Were the French who resisted the Nazi occupation of their country terrorists? Were the peasants of South America terrorists? Were the Vietnamese terrorists?

Why is it that any deprived people fighting for their natural (and not human) rights called terrorists? Why is it that a Palestinian whose land is occupied, his identity denied, and his people killed on daily basis called a terrorist when he responds to the violence inflicted on him with violence?

How can the ‘civilized’ world look itself in the mirror when they accept Israel’s killing of civilians in Palestine and Lebanon every day and deliberately (they have smart and accurate weapons supposedly) without moral resentment and while calling for insulting rhetoric of right to self defense, while they call a military operation against Israeli soldiers – these same soldiers who are killing the civilians – a terrorist attack? I do not endorse operations against Israeli civilians, but I certainly do endorse fighting those who are killing my fellow unarmed humans. What is so appalling in all this is simply the pretentiousness of those who appoint themselves defenders of morality or justice. I would not be writing these lines if those who are defending Israel were saying that we are defending Israel because we care not about justice or righteousness but our interests are in supporting its actions in this case supporting its crimes against Lebanon. That would be a statement I would respect and I would even go so far as agreeing with them that their interests are indeed with Israel and if I was in their place I would possibly do the same. It is the hypocrisy which becomes ridicule that disturbs me.

When will the ‘civilized’ world understand that Arabs too are human beings, with feelings and lives just like them? When will those who preach democracy and human rights understand that even those who have a darker skin and speak a different language are humans like them?

Until this day comes I will refrain from believing in humanity and its achievements and refuse all the beliefs it has proliferated.